yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
