i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
