think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
babies were throwing up all over the place
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
