And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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