OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
