does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
