there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We just shotgunned beers for America
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
