I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
