I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
