They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
