apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
