Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
