Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
