why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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