By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
