Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
