did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
