like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
