she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize