maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
