did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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