were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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