love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
