Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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