Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
