walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
