you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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