She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
