phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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