thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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