Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
