Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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