ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
