you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
