Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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