it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
