We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
