I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
