Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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