I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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