VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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