Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
