I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's shark week go big or go home
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
