id be glad to
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
