what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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