If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
