dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
