no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just high enough for therapy.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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