i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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