i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
