Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
