is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
