Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
