god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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