Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
