does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
