9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize