I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
