never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I love you. Go after that dick
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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