As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
